For more information on Rosh Hashanah click here.

Star of David courtesy of qwickstep.com

“Someday I might get a cell phone / mobile phone but it will be used just for emergencies”. Someone you know, and a few hundred million people who are not close personal friends have said that statement and meant it.  But I suspect they’re not waiting for an emergency, they use their cell phone everyday.  If the phone is available, easy to use, not too expensive, it will be used as a convenience rather than as a necessity.  So what does that have to do with the iPad?

Everything!

If you’re saying, I’ve got a big PC or I’ve got a laptop I don’t need a iPad.  Don’t say it again or too loudly because it will come back to haunt you. I picked up  an iPad, intending to give the bride her entire wedding (photos, video, web pages, audio)  on an iPad as well as in book-form, along with a dozen instant Facebook photos.  I didn’t expect to use the iPad myself. I could not have been more surprised. Particularly since I’m very happy with my Duo-Core Intel Mac Pro and Mac laptops. To say “I use the iPad” isn’t quite right.  More to the point is, the iPad is with me always. Just an arms length away and doing more things, faster that any of the more than a dozen towers and half dozen laptops that I’ve used daily.  Remember that long wait.  From the moment you turning on your computer, wait for it to flash and beep, then boot.  Followed by another wait as you start a program and load a document.  If it’s a daily grind, a daily pain, I can assure you it will be only a memory once you touch the iPad.  Sort of like comparing the get up and go of say… a  beat-up truck and the Space Shuttle.  Touch the iPad and it’s on Instantly!  It’s up and running, waiting, warm, and eager.  Eager as a litter of puppies, but its more fun with less drool.  But strangers do drool, people who see you stroking the screen and pages responding.  No, actually the pages seem to flow more than respond.

But, some strangers will ask, “can I do it,” go ahead let them, they will love it.  Perhaps fall in love with you too, but if they turn and bolt, with the iPad in their clutches, relax. Like the iPhone it has the find-my-iPad app via MobileMe account. (I learned from experience that it’s best to keep it out of the hands or your in-laws, they may not want to give it back.)

I feel as if I need to tell you a lot about apps, and weight, but really that’s not the point. No more than a cell phone’s ability to be available in an emergency was the key to its success.

• The iPad instantly feels right and instantly does so many things better and much more conveniently than a laptop, that it becomes an all day pleasurable companion.

• Email; faster and easier.

• Battery life; forever. Okay not forever but I watched 6 hours of TedTalks video and didn’t drain even half of the battery. Apple claims12 hours of usage and that seems in line with what I’ve seen.

• Web browsing; fairly easy, but without Adobe Flash.

• Reading books and magazines; easier than on paper.

• Document creation; pretty easy for text, simple spreadsheet, and presentations.

• Calendar and contacts; better than on the laptop or tower.

• You can print from it and link it to a projector for making presentations too.

• Keyboard; nothing could be easier on your hands.

• Mouse; no mouse, and that’s a bit disconcerting.

• Tapping; single tap, double tap, tap and pause, it’s disconcerting too, but the learning curve is pretty easy and fairly intuitive.  For your sanity, take the Apple iPad orientation (15-20 min) and go through every single app that you use.  Do it BEFORE you leave the store.  Create a file, work in it, save and share that file type so that you KNOW how to do everything you want to do before leaving the store.  Do it, and leave a happy camper, and you will remain a happy camper.

• While giving a presentation, touch the screen for a couple moments and your finger-position becomes a laser pointer with a tail.  Drag it around to point out items on the projected screen.

So can it replace a laptop?! Yes and no. If you have a laptop or tower you can store big apps there.  Leave your documents there and on the cloud. The iPad can grab it from the cloud.

With the WiFi iPad, you must have a Mac desktop or laptop to set up and sync with iTunes and your MobileMe account.  If you have a PC and not a Mac set up and link it to your PC via iTunes the same way you link your iPhone.

I’ll say that again, it gets set up and synced via iTunes either on the Mac or PC.  You can have access to documents and files via the Mobile Me (cloud).  But you can go about your day un-tethered and a whole lot lighter by leaving the laptop at home.  I didn’t think I would, but I do.  I’ve taken the laptop out of the house only once since I got an iPad, and even that was only because I didn’t spring for a sync cable before giving a University lecture.

If you hold an iPad, touch it, it’s very hard not to love.  Get one, and take the intro class with an Apple rep before you leave the store.  But before you buy one take bets with friends or relatives who say  “ I’ll never get an iPad.”  You’ll clean up.

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John Costello is an internationally award winning photojournalist and wedding photographer / videographer who has used a variety of PC’s and Macs daily, for decades.

John Costello  | jc@allphoto.us |  215.866.6701

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iPad and Accessories available at Amazon!

All Electronics at Amazon!

The American  |  Director Anton Corbijn  |  Score: 6.1

Appropriately enough, the vast majority of guns in this American assassin abroad film are equipped with silencers, the bullets barely make a sound before slicing through their given targets. The film follows suit. In what could only be described as a deliberate pace, with great attention to small detail, it recounts a few idyllic weeks (months?) as our American, Jack (George Clooney), after a failed attempt on his life in Sweden, hides out in a small Italian village in Abruzzo.

Before long, he’s hired for a job, building a top-of-the-line custom rifle for another assassin, Mathilde (Thekla Reuten) for one of her upcoming assignments. Tooling around the countryside, putting the gun together, Jack also takes up with a local prostitute, Clara (Violante Placido), spends a good deal of time in the woods and is paranoid enough to sleep with his gun cradled in his hand. As for plot, that’s more or less about all you get. The film is far less concerned with melodramatic flourishes of narrative and much more involved with the basic stuff of Jack’s life. We never learn terribly much about him, but we seemingly learn a great deal about the business of building a gun from assembled parts.

As such, with its languid pace, undersold emotions, and effectively evocative cinematography from DP Martin Ruhe, it builds its intensity and increasing tension from the ground up. It’s another ’70s throwback film, in other words, a sort of mixture of The Day of the Jackal and The Conversation. Though not really close to their class — for all its attention to scant detail, we never get very much more than a surface reading of the film’s characters — it does have a certain satisfying gait. It allows us to take pleasure from something as mundane as Jack’s OCD-like impulse to smooth out the wrinkled paper bag from under a just-produced canister of bullets, and his repeated mantra that he’s “no good with machines.” It’s not every film that would take a lethal assassin and essentially put him on ice for the vast majority of the remaining running time, but it sure does give you an appreciation for the gorgeous Italian countryside.

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Piers Marchant is a Philly-based writer and editor, and the EIC (and film critic) for two.one.five magazine (215mag.com). His reviews can be found on 215mag.com and his tumblr blog, Sweet Smell of Success.  You can also follow him on twitter @kafkaesque83.

Bypass theater ticket lines. Buy movie tickets in advance at Fandango.com. 

Need a Movie, here are Movies at Amazon!

Paul Collins – The King of Power Pop!

(Alive Natural Sound Records – 2010)

3 out of 4 ****

Paul Collins’ new record, The King of Power Pop!, is better than any Paul Collins record circa 2010 has a right to be.  That is not to say it is an excellent record.  His choice of cover tunes is tired (both the Box Tops hit “The Letter” and the Flamin’ Groovies “You Tore Me Down” have been done countless times by others).  And his own songs rarely, if ever, stray outside of the generic power-pop codes that Collins himself helped establish in the late 70’s with his bands The Nerves (“Hangin’ on the Telephone”) and The Beat (“Rock’n’Roll Girl”).  But Jim Diamond’s production serves the songs extremely well.  The sound is focused and uncluttered with just the right touches of percussion and acoustic guitar added to the standard mix of electric guitar, bass and drums.  Collins’ voice has held up well and he has new found gruff edge that is charming – no point in a middle aged man trying to sound like a hormonally challenged adolescent.

The 13 tunes zip by in just over a half hour with only one making even the three minute mark.  The economy is refreshing.  Every song has its hook, but the before they can grow tiresome he’s wrapped things up and moved on to the next one.  And while much of the subject matter is fairly trite he has some moments of hard won clarity, whether it’s the self-effacing title track (“Sometimes people, they remember me and tell me how great they thought I used to be”) or the anthemic “This is America” which counts Trans Ams, Burger Kings and “The Kids” amongst our nation’s finest achievements.  No point arguing with that.  Or this record, for that matter.  It is what it is and it is a very good power-pop record by an often overlooked originator.

Music by Paul Collins including King of Power Pop! at Amazon!

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Sal Cannestra is a New York City native who relocated to Philadelphia in 2006.  He has been writing about rock’n'roll music since 1984 for various publications.  He also plays in the bands The Gerunds (www.thegerunds.com) and The Thirteen (www.myspace.com/thethirteenphilly)

Red Riding: Blu-ray Edition  |  Directors Julian Jarrold, James Marsh & Anand Tucker  |  Score: 6.8

The bodies of the dead largely outweigh those of the living in this curious triptych of films based on a quartet of novels by David Pearce, each a separate piece from a specific time period set around the infamous Yorkshire Ripper murders in the north of England in the ’70s and ’80s.

The first film, 1974, directed by Julian Jarrold, concerns Eddie Dunford (Andrew Garfield), a young journalist who attempts to uncover a dense network of corrupt officials and police officers (“This is the North,” one yells at Dunford right before throwing him out the back of a moving van, “we do what we want!”) in connection to the disappearance of several young girls — one of whom is found murdered and mutilated at the construction site of land-owning kingpin John Daws (Sean Bean), whose every desire seems ready at his whim.

The second, 1980,” directed by James Marsh, focuses on Peter Hunter (Paddy Considine) the head of a newly created task force to track down the killer — now dubbed the Yorshire Ripper by the local press — who may or may not be connected to the abductions of the younger girls from years before. Working with a handpicked squad, Hunter runs afoul of the same corrupt cops from the previous film, while trying to maintain a professional relationship with Helen Marshall (Maxine Peake), the female member of his team, with whom he has had a past affair.

The final piece, 1983, directed by Anand Tucker, attempts to tie up at least some of the various plot threads the first two films set up, giving us two unlikely heroes in the process: John Piggot (Mark Addy), a plus-sized lawyer who attempts an appeal for the simple-minded young man (Daniel Mays) the police coerced into confessing for the kidnapping and murder of the children; and Maurice Jobson (David Morrissey), one of the original corrupt officers, who grows more and more disenchanted with his part in the scheme.

The films work more or less in harmony, but in many not-so-obvious ways. While there are connecting themes and characters (and certainly, the dank, morbid hills of North England as a backdrop), the carry over is relatively slight, save the prevailing sense of doom and corruption that fills the air. Some of this is due to the high body count of characters — each film is like a season ending episode of a violent HBO series, with tensions rising into violent action and subsequent repercussions (“Hands flat on the table” might become the “Is it safe?” of the age). In fact, if the trilogy’s style and methods resemble anything in particular from America, it’s HBO’s (and American television’s) single greatest achievement: “The Wire.” Like “The Wire,” the filmmakers refuse to dumb down the material, the plotlines and characters swirl around in a haze of seemingly unconnected scenes and rapid, dauntingly accented bites of dialogue. Things happen that we don’t comprehend or fully understand, if at all, until much later in subsequent scenes — or films. Still, the atmosphere holds the entire contraption together admirably, never letting up on your psyche.

By the end of the third film, which does achieve a modicum of restorative resolution, you’ve been buried up to your neck in muck and misery for so long, it almost feels like a benediction. The effect is chilling and more or less relentless. Dead bodies have been layered on top of one another to the point that you can begin to feel the awful weight of humanity’s unceasing ability to exploit and destroy itself. An endless catalogue of crimes, murders, death, bones, blood and destruction, burnt to ash or buried deep in the ground, where, seemingly, no good can escape.

The Red Riding Trilogy is available at Amazon, click here !

Piers Marchant is a Philly-based writer and editor, and the EIC (and film critic) for two.one.five magazine (215mag.com). His reviews can be found on 215mag.comand his tumblr blog, Sweet Smell of Success.  You can also follow him on twitter @kafkaesque83.

Need a Movie, here are Movies at Amazon!

The other day Jeremy said:  “When you speak in public you should make it like a woman’s dress.  It should be long enough to cover the subject and short enough to keep everyones attention.”

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Image courtesy of clker.com

Dr. Clifford N. Lazarus

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Norman, a twice-divorced thirty-six-year-old lawyer, came for therapy.  He often ran into interpersonal problems, but recently he had lost three close friendships, had a serious falling out with his parents, and his fiancée had broken off their engagement.  No wonder!  Norman had more rules and regulations than the Army, Navy and Air Force combined.

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The enslaving power of personal rules was first recognized by the world-renowned psychiatrist Dr. Karen Horney, who wrote about “the tyranny of the should,” a theme later expanded by Dr. Albert Ellis, President of the Albert Ellis Institute in New York City, who coined the terms “shoulding” and “musturbating” to emphasize the psychologically destructive power of categorical imperatives like shoulds and musts. Dr. Ellis advises that

• people stop “shoulding” on others and themselves, and avoid “musturbating” as much as possible.

Norman’s excessive shoulds and musts led him to break off contact with his brother for making investments that Norman regarded as ill-advised, and he was irate about a whole slew of things.  His life changed for the better when he managed to exorcise his shoulds.

At the end of his therapy, Norman wrote the following note, which we encourage you to adopt for your own life:

• “I have decided to abrogate responsibility for other people’s lives.  I let others decide what should and shouldn’t apply to them.”

Norman continued: “This has lifted an enormous burden from my shoulders.  I don’t take life as seriously as I did, and I let God decide what should and shouldn’t be.  All I know is what I like, what I dislike and what I wish for.”  Six months later, on a follow-up questionnaire, he wrote: “For the first time in my life I believe that I would be called ‘popular.’  I don’t know how anybody put up with me before.”

Unlike Norman, many people are unwilling or unable to drop their shoulds and musts.  “You should have known better!” “You must stop doing that!”  “I should have behaved differently.”  “I must win the tennis game!”

• Catch your own shoulds and musts, change them into preferences or wishes:

“I’d like to win the tennis game.”  “I wish you’d stop doing that.”  Try out this technique and see how much better you feel.

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Dr. Clifford N. Lazarus is a licensed psychologist, Co-founder and Clinical Director of The Lazarus Institute. In addition to his general psychotherapy practice, Dr. Clifford Lazarus specializes in health and neuropsychology.

Dr. Clifford Lazarus received his B.A., M.S., and Ph.D. in psychology from Rutgers University where he was a Henry Rutgers Research Scholar.  Seen here are excerpts from one of his books, The 60-Second Shrink – 101 Strategies For Staying Sane In a Crazy World, a book, he co-authored with his father “One of the ten most influential psychotherapists in America”  Arnold A. Lazarus, Ph.D.  For more details on Dr. Clifford Lazarus visit this link to The Lazarus Institute.  Or visit his page here on friendlysuggestions.com.

Books available at Amazon by Arnold and Clifford Lazarus

Direct links to two highly recommended books by Dr. Clifford Lazarus and Dr. Arnold A. Lazarus:

The 60-Second Shrink: 101 Strategies for Staying Sane in a Crazy World 

Don’t Believe It for a Minute!: Forty Toxic Ideas That Are Driving You Crazy

Quaker Oats for fast pain relief… it’s not for breakfast any more! Mix 2 cups of Quaker Oats and 1 cup of water in a bowl and warm in the microwave for 1 minute, cool slightly, and apply the mixture to your hands for soothing relief from arthritis pain.

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Here is a suggestion from an email filled with suggestions.  A friend sent this and rather than put them up in our “Cool email” category I wanted to add them as Quick Suggestions. They are easier to find that way!  While I have not tried some of these, I would if I needed to.  If you try one let us know how it works or doesn’t work for you, thanks!   Enjoy and Be well!

Image from: 2040worldview.blogspot.com

Some background.  My daughter Elizabeth and I are unusually close.  I had her late in life, an only child, and because I work at my home studio as a graphic designer/illustrator, I was lucky and blessed during all her school years to be there when she got home from school.  Each day, for about an hour after school, we would discuss everything from the events of her day, her courses, her teachers, the unpredictable incidents, the sometimes amazing accomplishments and sometimes incredibly stupid antics of her classmates, how friends can be so wonderful and sometimes let you down so unfairly, the general lack of fairness in life in general, and how this all related to her personal growth.  As a result, we now have an almost 20 year old daughter who is psychologically stable, trustworthy, highly creative, multi talented, extremely insightful, kind, self-critical almost to a fault, driven to succeed in life and in love, and hopeful about her future.  In short, I am the luckiest Mom I know.

Please don’t throw up.  It was a huge trade-off to stay home. I had worked as a full time graphic designer for many years before I had Elizabeth. Freelancing is very tough.  You never know when a client will change their mind about using you, whether your estimate is too high or too low, and sometimes whether you will even get paid at all.  It has been quite a ride.  My husband Peter is self employed too, so together we are this wacky, seat-of-your-pants, entrepreneurial entity.  Sometimes I help him in his business, sometimes he helps me in mine (as well as we are able!)  Take my word for it: it’s not for the faint of heart.  If you crave security, don’t use us as a model.  Elizabeth has never taken anything for granted in the way of material things because of all this.

So, last September, daughter goes off to her first year as a college Freshman.  Did I have major adjustments to make? Did I wonder whether my feelings of accomplishment were too tied up in hers?  Did I cry every night for the first two weeks?  Yes, yes, and oh yes.  But very gradually I began to realize that I could pick up the pieces and find a new normal in my routine.  I got into the habit of going to more business networking events and lunches, going out with friends in general, and keeping in touch with Elizabeth by phone, email and text.  I looked forward to hearing from her, the good and the bad (plenty of both), and knew that her growing independence was a result of the challenges she was forced to face and resolve on her own.  After all, that’s what kids are supposed to do….. grow up.  It’s ultimately up to us to stand back a little and let them do exactly that, while cheering them on and supporting them from afar.

This summer, back at home, I have watched as she has thrust herself into new situations, new relationships, and new work challenges. Now it’s almost Sophomore year.  Our relationship has grown quite a bit since this time last year.  It’s not so inter-dependent.  She fixes her own meals, works, and socializes on her own schedule with minimal dependence on me. She challenges me and doesn’t share every little detail of her thoughts and experiences like before.  But that’s okay.  It’s a trust thing and a privacy thing.  When I think of myself at her age, circa 1974 (ouch), I can remember pulling away and starting to own my life too.  Isn’t it funny how you can sometimes do an instant flashback and see your child in yourself?

When she goes back to college in a couple of weeks, I will still feel that nagging push-pull pain of letting go.  Can’t help it.  When you become a parent, your life is linked forever to the ups and downs of your child’s.  All you really have control over are your hopes and prayers for them.  It is the hardest thing we parents are called to do.

But what else could ever be more amazing?

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Sandy Gerger is Liz Gerger’s Mom. Liz is a student at The College of New Jersey, both  agreed to write about “Back to School” creating a perspective of this event from a mother and a daughter.  We thank them for this wonderful contribution.  For Liz Gerger’s perspective on her daughter returning to school click here.

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Sandy Gerger is a friend of friendlysuggestions.com.  She is a contributor and has designed our wonderful logo.  She is available for your art and design needs.  If you would like to contact her, here is her infomation:

Sandy is available for illustrations and art work, feel free to contact her at:

Sandy Gerger • Design and Illustration

phone: 215-491-4659 • email: sandy.gerger@verizon.net

see her work here • www.ifreelance.com/pro/47207

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Book photograph is from http://www.evanhaslanded.com

As an only child with a love of peace and privacy, moving my life into a college dorm was overwhelming. I had anticipated the adjustment of sharing a room and using the communal bathroom, but there was so much more that I hadn’t anticipated and didn’t even consider. An example being the fact that my roommate found the love of her life living on our floor within the first few months and insisted on expressing their love most nights of the week. I essentially had two roommates as they spent every waking minute of the day in each other’s company and rarely ventured away from their daily Disney movie marathons. In high school I was that girl who debated the teacher in class and always spoke my mind, so why didn’t I stand up for myself? Because you don’t realize how essential privacy is to your sanity until you don’t have any. When a mere bathroom stall offers respite and reflection, the last thing you want to do is make waves.

Now let’s set dorm life aside and move on to the sole purpose of higher education, academia. As a freshman, I was required to take a base set of liberal learning courses a.k.a psychoanalytical and pseudo intellectual bullshit. In a place where I thought I was one step closer to thriving in the real world, I’ve never felt so detached from logic and reason as when I’m waiting out a four-hour lecture watching a pretentious, self-righteous professor talk themselves into circles. I’ve known I was an artist since I was 6 years old and shading my crayon stallion while my partner stuck her crayon up her nose.

But then, if all the core curriculum requirements were removed, then I wouldn’t be a well-rounded student, focus on the subjects I’m really interested in, earn my degree in two years, and save myself a good ten years of paying off student loans. But no, apparently that’s “narrow-minded” of me.

The saving grace of my year was truly theater, a passion I had pursued and excelled in throughout my middle school and high school career. Theater people are pretty much the same everywhere you go and they’re uninhibited friendliness was refreshing. I was among theater people, however, I came face to face with another aspect of college I was unprepared for. I had never gotten drunk or experimented with any drug in my life and tended to stay away from people who did. The lifestyle just doesn’t appeal to me, but apparently it appeals to my theater friends. I admit that it’s entertaining to be the only sober one at a party but it can be really alienating as well. It’s like college is one big over-compensation for every curfew, punishment, and moral instilled on these guys their entire lives. My parents whole-heartedly trusted me my entire life and I rarely let them down, so does that make me a straightedge party pooper?

Though I’ve painted college as my own personal hell, I haven’t yet mentioned some of the great things that happened like making the Dean’s list and finding a small group of great friends in the art department. I love my school for its happy students and friendly atmosphere. In all honesty, I am optimistic about sophomore year. I have scored myself a single room, which I am hoping will make all the difference now that I can come in after a long day and recharge my batteries in peace without the soundtrack of roommate “tickle time”. Perhaps my classes will be more major-specific and challenge my ability to think creatively. Maybe I’ll land an internship or join a new club where there’s a stud-muffin that isn’t gay or taken. Above all, I go into this year with no expectations, wanting to learn that I can get where I’m going in the place that I’m in and not lose myself along the way. So while everyone else at the summer parties rave about how “crazy fun” college was and how they “can’t wait to get back” I just say “it was a rollercoaster!” and “I have a really good feeling about this year”.

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Liz Gerger is a student at The College of New Jersey, both she and her Mom, Sandy Gerger agreed to write about “Back to School” creating a perspective of this event from a mother and adaughter.  We thank them for this wonderful contribution.  For Sandy Gerger’s perspective on her daughter returning to school click here.  Liz is an actress and story teller, available for kids parties as Lenape Liz, for more information click here.

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Comedy and Tragedy Mask illustration is from http://www.fanpop.com