Ruth Asks: Hey, Did You Love Last Weekend?

  Sourdough Toast Smiley

Did you love last weekend?

You know, the extra hour of sleep you got because of turning our clocks back. What if we could have that extra hour every weekend? I’d have loved the extra time to luxuriate over breakfast.  Here’s the thing, it’s totally do-able.

Once I achieve world Smiley domination* and am crowned Queen, I will make it so. How, you ask. It’s really amazingly simple, even the math involved is super easy.

Here’s the plan: Six days a week we shorten the day by 10 minutes. Every night (except for Fridays), right at midnight, the clock would automagically jump to 12:10 am. We’d really never even feel it.** But by week’s end we’d have gained 60 minutes. One whole hour that we’d add to Saturday mornings. Not once a year, but every Saturday! Cool huh?

You’re probably thinking, YIKES what about all the clocks and watches and VCRs and dashboards and computers that would have need to be retrofitted for this new system?

Watch Smiley

That’s the biggest bonus of all! Think of how many jobs it would create!! Because in truth, even as Queen, I could not make clocks jump ahead 10 minutes automagically. We’d need thousands of workers, all happily employed (with day care on site and medical care), to make it happen automatically!

So if you ever hear a report on CNN that I’m running for Queen of the World, be sure to register to vote! And . . .

Smile. Be happy!


P.S.: F.I.Y.: First, that was a ton of punctuation starting this line. And second, from “spring forward day” to “fall back day” clocks would not do the 10 minute jump forward each night. I think that works . . . I’m have a bit of trouble conceptualizing that part . . . L.M.K. if I’m wrong (but please be gentle, just like everybody else, Queen Ruth is fragile).
P.S.S.: On such a Smiley morning, how about a nice slice of sourdough toast! Life sure is great, when your toast smiles back!

* Domination but in the kindest possible way, you know by instituting Smiley policies about being kind and sharing and holding hands and playing with kittens & puppies and long baths and at least a little bit of chocolate everyday and tickling and giggling and back rubs and gratitude lists and a 4 day work week and beaches and sunsets and board game night and hammocks and free guacamole for all . . . you get my drift. I can tell you’re getting the vibe that I’d be a pretty great Queen! A Queen for the people!! The Smiley People!

** And to be sure, that folks who like to go to bars and also the liquor industry lobbyers, don’t protest the loss of 10 minutes before last call, bars would all stay open until 2:10 instead of 2:00! See I really have thought of everything! This is sosoooo do-able!

Martini Smiley

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